DIRECT YOURSELF TOWARD
THAT IS ALL
NEW ENGLAND FEUDIST IS EXPELLED WITH NEGRESS
In Important Proceedings on September 15, 2011 at 12:00 pmThe way of rowdiness continues on Gallis Rd, downtown Girdletree. The revelers there are certainly on the warpath. SEBASTIAN AQUITAINE STE. CLAIRE is a typical Massachusettsian, being over six feet high, and straight as an arrow, and decidedly a fine-looking man. He has the reputation of being a forcible souser, and is no doubt the drunkest man since Lot got so drunk he did not know what he was doing; this led to immorality.
In the Fishkicker of yesterday morning we made brief mention of an attack being made upon the shop of NORAM FLAMHAMROVICH, a Jew. Since then we have learned the following additional particulars:
Tale of the Protest Crier
In Important Proceedings on September 8, 2011 at 12:00 pm– Cereal boy! Dispose of this box immediately! said Windsor, as he tossed his Fruity Loops to the floor and bits of Fruity Loops flew from his mouth. The box boy dove to catch the box just before it hit the ground, before standing up stiffly and dutifully exiting the room.
– See, Sebastian, he said, how much better the cereal is when one eats only the top part!
– Indeed, said I with some irritation, and how much like society.
– Oooh ho, brother! Ooooh ho! I suppose some lifeblood yet remains in your uxurious neck!
– And how, brother, and how.
Just then Jubal came pacing into the room with his hands clasped at his back and humming a mighty tune.
